Copyright 2005 by Beth Mende Conny, ArtofSchmooze.com
All rights reserved in all media.

The content of this article may be forwarded in full without special permission provided it is used for not-for-profit purposes and full attribution and copyright notice are given. For other purposes, contact Beth Mende Conny at Beth@ArtofSchmooze.com

To grow your business or advance your career, you need feedback about what you're doing right and what you could be doing better. Don't wait for this information to come to you, however. Seek it out, following these guidelines.

Understand the difference between constructive and destructive criticism.
The former may not make you comfortable, but it does make you think and ultimately act to improve your performance. The latter saps you of energy and confidence, setting up hurdles and blocks that can slow or halt your professional development.

Don't ask if you're not willing to accept.
Criticism, however constructive, can be hard to take. Face it, do you really want to hear a patron lambaste your seafood platter? Nonetheless, it's imperative that you take the criticism well, even with grace and style. Chances are, it isn't personal anyway, for while your patron may have hated his meal, he probably doesn't hate you. He likely doesn't even know you.

Choose your audiences carefully.
Don't request feedback from negative or small thinkers, e.g., colleagues who may have hidden agendas, difficulty accepting the success of others, or a limited vision of what's possible. By the same token, don't choose people who love or respect you so much that they would rather placate or protect you than offer feedback that is honest and thereby helpful.

Choose an audience of 3-plus.
One person's opinion is, well, just one person's opinion; it may or may not have validity. Two or more people (e.g., employees) saying the same thing, even if in different ways, are harder to dismiss. The key then is to have three-plus "critics" to discern if there are recurring issues. If so, you will know that you have a problem that must be addressed if your business is to move onto a higher level.

Choose your audience the way you would a team.
Pick individuals with distinct experiences, areas of expertise and tastes. Each will come at her task from a unique perspective, adding invaluable dimension to your project. Too, these varying perspectives can pinpoint holes in your approach that you might not have identified otherwise.

Provide instructions.
Let your critics know if there's anything in particular you want them to respond to or look for. This enables them to focus on what's most important to you, be it your service, product line, response time, etc. Also let your critics know that their feedback must be specific. Comments like "I liked it," "You did a good job," or "Looks good," don't help you improve because they give you no solid information to work with.

Take two steps back.
All criticism, especially that coming from several critics, takes a while to sort through-and that's just fine. In fact, it's preferable. Let the comments of customers, supervisors and employees filter through your system; let them co-mingle, evolve, take new shape and open new doors. Only when you've fully absorbed what's been said can you decide how, or even if, you'll act on it.

Beth Mende Conny is the founder of ArtofSchmooze.com and the author of more than four dozen books and collections, including her latest books, The Confident Schmoozer and What to Say When Talking to Yourself. She is based in the Washington, D.C., area, where she conducts workshops and training sessions for corporations, associations and community organizations. She can be contacted at Beth@ArtofSchmooze.com.

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