A survivor's guide
By Beth Mende Conny, M.A.
Copyright 2004 by Beth Mende Conny, ArtofSchmooze.com
All rights reserved in all media.The content of this article may be forwarded in full without special permission provided it is used for not-for-profit purposes and full attribution and copyright notice are given. For other purposes, contact Beth Mende Conny at Beth@ArtofSchmooze.com
- "Don't worry."
- "You'll do fine."
- "It won't be that bad."
- "Don't be so hard on yourself."
How many times do others utter those words as you nervously enter a new or dreaded situation? They mean well, of course. They do believe you have little to worry about, that you'll survive the ordeal and perhaps even enjoy yourself if only you'd ease up on yourself.
Easy for them to say. They're not the ones with the queasy stomach and chorus of negative voices. Tripping on the rug, tripping on your words; looking stupid, saying something stupid; forgetting someone's name, forgetting to zip your fly — the possibilities are endless. Worse they're probabilities. They will happen. You will bomb. It's inevitable, like having to pay taxes on April 15.
This should come as no surprise. You're human, and humans aren't perfect. You, however, hold yourself to a higher standard — one that doesn't exist. Let's examine this more closely.
Think of three situations in which you've bombed. Deliberate or inadvertent, they should be ones that still make you cringe.
Next, relive the moments. Recall the setting, players and your exact words. What made you say what you did? Was your faux-pas public, meaning it happened in a group setting, or one-on-one? What, if any, were the repercussions? How, if at all, did you recover or make amends? What could you have done to prevent your blunder? How might you protect yourself, and others, the next time around?
Know that there will be a next time. Answering the questions above, however, should make the prospect less paralyzing.
Beth Mende Conny is the founder of
ArtofSchmooze.com and the author of more than
four dozen books and collections,
including her latest books, The Confident Schmoozer
and What to Say When Talking to Yourself.
She is based in the Washington, D.C., area, where she conducts
workshops and training sessions for corporations,
associations and community organizations. She can be
contacted at Beth@ArtofSchmooze.com.
Ready to talk?
Give Beth a call today at 301.694.9921
or email Beth@ArtOfSchmooze.com.
